In and out, three “Hail, Mary’s”, you’re back on the street with Father Rivera, man. You could see the line move; that’s how fast he was working. But he wasn’t ready for the way Irish boys were confessing at that time and that place...
(’3rd generation’ Irish accent) “Uh, bless me, Father, for I have sinned...Uh, I touched myself in an impure manner. I was impure, impurity and impureness. Thought, word indeed. Body, touch, impure, sex, dirty. Impure legs, impureness. Touch, impure dirty body, sex, rub and covet; heavy on the covet, Father, uh..”
(Rivera:) “That’s OK, man! Tres Ave Marias!”...You’d be home in five minutes, you know?
The Irish priest, on the other hand, nice guy, but, uh, first of all, he recognized your voice ‘cause you’d grown up there, right?
He knew everyone- “What’d you do that for, George?” “Oh, God, he knows, man!” And the Irish priests were always heavily into penance and punishment, y’know? They’d give you a couple of novenas to do, nine first Fridays, five first Saturdays, Stations of the Cross...a trip to Lourdes, wow....
-George Carlin
